Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite – All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary
Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife 43 who was looking for some hot action! So I sent her my ironing. That’ll keep her busy.
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind.
Tampax have announced today that they will be replacing the string on tampons with tinsel. This will be just for the Christmas period.
Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone What sort of sick person does that to someone’s advent calendar.
I’ve been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, Never mind son maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.
Sometimes you just can’t win. I thought I’d be a gentleman and hold the door open for the young lady. 2 minutes late she said, Will you go away and shut the toilet door!!
