Okay – so this blog has been up and running now for only a few months. In that time it’s been visited by near to four hundred thousand times, has achieved a page rank of 4 – and a solid and steadily growing number of daily subscribers. So obviously there is a great love for crap out there and this blog is riding that wave. Yet still I haven’t achieved my dream. I want this site to be number 1 for the word ‘crap’ on google.
There are some major obstacles. Wikipedia, some say appropriately, currently holds the prize. But even as full of shit wikipedia often is – it’s no where near the calibre of crap as is this blog.
What’s more – competition is increasing from the mainstream media. If you look at google trends – it’s clear that they’ve been talking crap more and more. Obviously they want to muscle in on my game.
Well I say – we can’t let this happen! Clearly allofthecrap.com deserve to rank number 1 for crap – since it’s giving you not just a little bit of crap, not just some crap… but ALL of it.
So here’s what I propose. Link to this blog – using the alt text ‘crap’ – and we can work toward correcting this injustice. In return, I will give you a link on my blogroll – and also a short review of your site in a posting that will be dedicated to all those who link to me. Just use this contact form to let me know you have placed the link with a link to where I can see it – and I’ll link back to you immediately!
See If you can figure out what these words have in common: Banana Dresser Grammar Potato Revive Uneven Assess Are you peeking or have you already given up? Give it another try. You’ll kick yourself when you discover the answer Go back and look at them again; think hard.
OK.. Here you go. Hope you didn’t cheat. This is clever…
Answer: In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.
Did you figure it out?-
I wouldn’t normally post this cause it’s pretty gay (and was on digg – so it’s kinda lame posting it here). The guy proposes to a chick and she says no – who cares. But what IS amusing is that after being dumped by his chick the guy has to deal with the indignity of being consoled by a giant mouse. HIlarious…
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that
he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun
at the Glasgow cops expense!!
Glasgow cop says, ‘ Licence and registration, please.’
London Lawyer says, ‘What for?’
Glasgow cop says, ‘Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.’
London Lawyer says, ‘I slowed down, and no one was coming.’
Glasgow cop says, ‘Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.’
London Lawyer says, ‘What’s the difference?’
Glasgow cop says, ‘The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that’s the law, Licence and registration, please!’
London Lawyer says, ‘If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.’
Glasgow cop says, ‘Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.’
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the f*ck out of the lawyer and says
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is Politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
1. I’m the head of the family, so call me The President.
2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
3. We’re here to take care of your needs, ! so we’ll call you the People.
4. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class.
5. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future.
“Now, think about that and see if it makes sense.”
So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So, the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”
The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”
The little boy replies, “The President is screwing the Working Class, while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”
10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 – You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!
6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”
3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.
2 – You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.
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