All Of The Crap They Send Me

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Here’s a video of a bad boy rc panther tank that I’m looking to purchase soon. My pets are all in deep shit when this arrives!

If you also want to get one of these – you can check them out

HERE

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Hunting Flies” He responded.

“Oh. Killing any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.

ntrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”
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All of the Crap is Ace!

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old.

Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was one of
my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought
Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea
and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea,
because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough,
here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him
drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know…

‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get
water is the toilet?’

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All of the Crap

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.

So he says, ‘Do you know me?’

To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,

‘Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???’

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, ‘No, I’m your son’s teacher.’

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

“Grumpy, my son,” says the Pope, “What can I do for you?”

Grumpy asks, “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?”

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .”

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them. Grumpy turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?”

The Pope, puzzled now, ! again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.”

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare. Grumpy turns back and says, “Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?”

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, “I’m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.”

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting……

“Grumpy shag*ed a penguin!”

“Grumpy shag*ed a penguin!”