Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip toTownsville.
The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.
The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn’t heard anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decided to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
the brunette asked, “What the heck’s going on up here?
We’re having a great time downstairs!”
One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered…
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined!
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
Unfortunately one of my friends sent me the link to this game – I played it and thought meh… It’s kinda cool but so what. Then I got a hold of the unlock code and the next four hours of my life were gone. Poof. It’s a strategy game – incredibly simple and incredibly addictive.
Of course – when my time gets totally consumed in such a way – I have to make sure everyone else suffers.
It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a “Ram Ban” (very effective) medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without any side effects for any kind of diseases. Today’s science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients. Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada, on its issue dated 17 January, 1995 has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey and cinnamon as researched by western scientists:
HEART DISEASES:
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who have already had an attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and veins.
ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning, and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week, out of the 200 people so treated, practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain.
BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.
TOOTHACHE:
Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied three times a day until the tooth stops aching.
CHOLESTEROL:
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient, were found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.
COLDS:
Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with ¼ spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.
UPSET STOMACH:
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS:
According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.
IMMUNE SYSTEM:
Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.
INDIGESTION:
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.
INFLUENZA:
A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural ingredient which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.
LONGEVITY:
Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Take four spoons of honey, one spoon of cinnamon powder and three cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink ¼ cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increases and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.
PIMPLES:
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.
SKIN INFECTIONS:
Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.
WEIGHT LOSS:
Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. If taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.
CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three times a day.
FATIGUE:
Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts, are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 p.m. when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.
BAD BREATH:
People of South America, first thing in the morning, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water, so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.
HEARING LOSS:
Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restore hearing.
Hamish and Dougal are sitting in the pub discussing Hamish’s forthcoming wedding.
“Ach, it’s all going grand,” says Hamish. “I’ve got everything organized already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night.”
Dougal nods approvingly.
“Heavens, I’ve even bought a kilt to be married in!” continues Hamish.
“A kilt?” exclaims Dougal. “That’s braw, you’ll look pure smart in that. And what’s the tartan?”
“Och,” says Hamish, “I imagine she’ll be in white.”
A Redneck walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side.
He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.
‘I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the gator will close his Mouth for one minute. Then he’ll open his mouth. And I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this Spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.’
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, Dropped his trousers, And placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of the head. The gator opened his mouth And the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered, And the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.
‘I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.’
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A Blonde woman timidly Spoke up……….
‘I’ll try it – Just don’t hit me so hard With the beer bottle!’
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, “Excuthe me, do you
have any widdle wabbits?” The shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his
knees so that he’s on her level, and says, “Do you want a widdle white
wabbit or a thoft, fuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit
over there?”
The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees,
leans forward and whispers… “I don’t weally fink my pyfon gives a phuk.”
Science is cool. Everybody except religious types love science. Well, one cool thing you can do is build your own hydrogen fuel cell kit. And then you can run a small toy car on it. Like in this video below:
If you want to build one of these hyrdogen fuel cell cars you can buy one of the kits from
National Geographic .
Add your comment
